Nachtmystium's Judd out of jail; band may be over

Hello everyone. I'm home, alive and well. Much to certain peoples dismay, the last month wasn't that big of a deal and I actually did some serious soul searching and have made some amazing steps within my own mind on where I've been and where I'm going. It's no secret to any of you that I've dealt with serious substance abuse issues (breaking a leg and getting a four month supply of oxycodone from a doctor is where that began back in 2009...not by deciding one day "Hey, I want to be an opiate addict!") In regards to this issue, I've never tried to hide it, listen to the words in my music. It's obvious what I've been dealing with. Today, however, I'm clean as a whistle THANKS to this situation I've been dealing with and I'm SO incredibly grateful that this happened, as it's probably saved my life. As for the merch issues and money stuff, yeah, I've fucked up with a lot of you and for this I'm terribly sorry. When you're in the throes of addiction, you'll find yourself doing things that are completely out of character because you're enslaved by something more powerful than you at that point in time. I'm ashamed of whats happened regarding this as I've never wished to cheat anyone out of anything nor was it ever the intention, money just goes quick and ones priorities are completely fucked up when you're in the place that I've been in on and off over the last few years. The only thing I can do is to do my best to start clearing up each and every debt that I can as I can afford it over the next few months and hope that will clear my name on this matter with each of you who fell victim to this unfortunate set of circumstances. I'm leaving Chicago tomorrow and will not be coming back for quite some time. I'm choosing to spend the coming months with my family and getting additional treatment for my issues with substance abuse because this is the fucking bottom for me. I've hit it and hit it hard. I have no intentions of even attempting to play any shows or work on anything else music related until I've got my life 100% under control again. Actually, I'm not even sure if I will continue on with Nachtmystium, as it's been a catalyst for chaos in my life in its very existence and what it represents creatively. There is nothing 'fake' in the contents of my music, particularly on a lyrical level on the last few records. Those are the words of truth from my life. I don't hide anything, it's out there and it's real. So, if you've paid attention, none of this should come as a surprise, as much as I hate to say that. On a positive note however, I've had an amazing run with Nachtmystium and been to many places, seen many things, played a lot of great shows, met hundreds of or maybe even thousands of amazing people through it, had experiences that most musicians can only dream of having and I was fortunate enough to get to live out many of the dreams of my own that I've had since I was a small child in regards to playing in a successful and well known rock band. Most importantly I've made a lot of records that I'm very proud of that I know many of you (per your feedback to me) have enjoyed very much, and for that I'm so grateful. I can only hope that those records will serve your collections well for many years to come and be enjoyed time and time again. I have one more in the pipeline recorded last summer that will be out sometime early next year, appropriately titled (given the current climate of my life), "The World We Left Behind", and I feel that it may be the perfect epitaph to this wild ride I've been on with Nachtmystium for the last thirteen and a half years. The record tells a story and is easily the most honest work I've ever made, so with that being said, it may very well be the bands last record as it completes the circle for me, I feel. That could always change, but as of today, that's how I'm feeling about it. As for the shit-talking on forums and in comment threads on metal news sites and the childish moves of the people at Hells Headbangers with their attempt to further exploit this situation, I find it to be not only incredibly immature but also very embarrassing for them. I'm just thrilled to know that I have no association with this label or these other phantom internet people who speak about me as though they know me or have a fucking clue about who I am and how I live my life. In doing these things, they've only ensured to all be on a short list of people whom I will not be going out of my way to 'make good' with after such a ridiculous move on their part, regardless of what the issues between myself and them may be. That's the only time I'm ever even going to address that topic, as I will not waste my time on such ridiculous shit. Life's too short to be worried about things like this. Anyways - that's what I have to say for now. I'm fine, doing better than ever actually and I'm looking forward to getting out of Chicago for an indefinite amount of time and completely focusing on my life and not worrying about this band or anything else until I've completely regained control over the demons that have been haunting me for the last three years. To all of you who've left supportive messages over the last month, I truly appreciate it and thank and commend you for your public support of me during this time of trials and tribulations in my life. And now, I return to my silence. I will be back here sometime in the not too distant future to get back to work on my music when the time is right. Love and light to all of you who have stood by me. Your support nurtures me greatly and is appreciated on levels greater than you may know.