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Crazy sex story that I experienced

pastaman 48 days ago
i used to bang this depraved psychotic whore. the same chick i went straight to anal no kissing with. she had prior convictions for felony assault. and one time i made her cum so hard she popped blood vessels in her eye. crazy f*ckin bitch. anyway she was obsessed with dick torture and wanted to torture my dick really bad. i wasnt going to let her but finally i agreed to let her use a cock ring that was way too small so my dick would stay hard while she beat it up. def one of my stupidest decisions. she actually just ended up slapping it around a bunch and sucking it harder than what would be considered a pleasurable bj. but then after she was done it was impossible to get the cock ring off. i finally had to take a pair of scissors to it, which was terrifying, and afterwards it was hard-flaccid for a week. if youve never had a hard flaccid dick its one of the most mentally concerning things that can happen. its all i thought about all day long, if my dick was going to return to normal. it was deeply bruised a black purple where the ring was and rock hard yet soft and i couldnt get erect. she even tried a bunch of stuff to get it hard and nothing worked. so she gave me a "softee suck" (her words) and i nutted a weird low pressure dribble nut out of my sad hard flaccid dick. i was like damn bitch you broke my dick. eventually it did go back to normal, and finally got hard again thanks to a maya hills blowjob video which i am eternally thankful to maya hills for that

shitinyourhand 48 days ago
very proud of ya

PoultryInMotion 48 days ago
thats f*cking terrifying.

PoultryInMotion 48 days ago
but thank you for posting

Jimmyfloyd 48 days ago
Maya hills ya man but the hills have eyes did Maya hills tit hills have eyes or did they have Guys??

PenicillinTrapdoor 48 days ago
Good lord man. Good thing the damage wasn't permanent. I just had this nympho staying at my place for a few weeks. I made her cum so hard that she shit a little. This happened 3 separate times.

Bortslob 48 days ago
Your mom is crazy

pastaman 47 days ago
yeah it was wild

barbara2.0 47 days ago
nothing like that post coital rerun of shane gillis hosting snl

toxicnacho 47 days ago

That's it? That's the pasta? That was just PORN. I swear to f*cking god I will f*cking f*ck you, you f*cking stupid piece of f*cking shit, you think you're so slick trying to slip in your f*cking erotica on over here? Well you know what else is f*cking slick? I bet your f*cking boypussy is slick, all moist after you've gooned yourself to your masturbatory, sorry, wad of shit f*ck text that you try to pass off as a copypasta. What the f*ck is here to copy paste huh? What f*cking dumbf*ck f*ck scenario am I to be in to be copypasting about just straight up f*cking sex. Has AskReddit f*cking rot your mind so much that the only f*cking interesting thing your dehydrated testicle of a brain could come up with is just porn??? What am I suppose to do with this text, there wasnt even anything funny or absurd about it. ou just talked about sex, thats it, it's just f*cking sex, it's just f*cking f*ck f*cking f*ck you. HAHAHAHAHA tits HAHAHAHAHA dick HAHAHAHAHA damn, that was so entertaining guys, Im so entertained, god im so entertained right now, im so entertained I might start crying. Hahaha, wouldnt it be funny if I started crying guys? Guys I think that would be real funny, just collapse on the floor and turn into a slobbering mess, just cry it all out, wouldnt that be funny? God I think that would be funny. Yeah that would actually be really funny. You know what, you gave me a real good laugh OP, youre not as bad as I thought. As a thank you for that hearty chuckle, you can impregnate my sister.

pastaman 47 days ago
Barb if you asked me how I liked the snl episode I would've said it was mediocre but you just want to besmirch me