InterviewsSeptember 4, 200715,427 views

Horse The Band interview

By Alex
We had the opportunity to ask Horse The Band keyboardist, Erik Engstrom, some questions. We just couldn't pass up on the chance. A few of these questions were provided to us by our acerbic message board users. Thanks to them.


Whatever happened to Combat Records?

It failed. That is what you get when you spend money on a band called Look What I Did!.

How do you feel about pulling the wool over peoples eyes?

If you trick people who are really stupid, did you really trick them?

How many hours of classic gaming do you play in order to come up with the synth lines for their songs?

Seven.

How do you feel about bands who are completely committed to recreating video game music, such as Mini-Bosses?

Sometimes I feel sorry for them. But I don't really think about them very much, TBH because usually I am thinking about how I am a failure. Usually I think, "at least I am creating new songs instead of copying other people's songs, and at least I am younger and more people like my band." But, drawing 100-200 kids to most shows you play after your band has been around for 8 years and you are 26 years old is definitely a life failure. I want to create something enduring, but I know I never will, and neither will any of my contemporaries. It is fun to watch people who think they have made something to be proud of, because they haven't, and no one will care, ever.

Synths: analog or digital?

what is analog?

Wii, PS3, or Xbox 360?

Wii. Good question.

Name some bands you're physically intimidated by.

Terror, Blood In Blood Out, Blessed by a Broken Heart, pretty much all of them. Santa Claus from The Number Twelve Looks Like You.

Have you benefited in any way whatsoever from the success of Napoleon Dynamite?

One day I dressed like him and drove to Hollywood by the Chinese Theater and took pictures with people. I made $600 in tips in 3 hours. Hearing "you look like Napoleon Dynamite" is better than hearing "you're ugly" or "you look like a horse" or "nice teeth" while having a toothbrush thrown at your face on stage.

Is there any truth to the rumors of you and David ghost-writing Chiodos albums?

Well, I don't want to breach any contracts, but let's just say we've been busy for the last 3 years. I don't know if you've heard of Rise Records yet...

Can the published version of a U.S. Government work that has been published in a non-government product be posted on a public web site?

When I read these questions I try to think of the life of the person who asked it. Your life has to be garbage. I am sorry man. Good luck in your life with that sense of humor, I guess we have to take what we've got.

You decimated pizza's credibility. Did you set out to do that, or did it just happen?

We wanted to write a nice album about pizza, but we failed because our drummer at the time, Eli, had a maximum blast speed of 60 bpm. Also, he could not count to 4 four times, he had to count to 16 once. he couldn't say the numbers in his head cause they were too long and too many numbers for him. Now pizza is life failure and death. We kicked out Eli, but pizza is done for. It was an accident. We are sorry to pizza.

If you guys had signed with Good Life Recordings in 2002, where would you be now?

I guess we wouldn't be so famous, so maybe Every Time I Die wouldn't have copied every single thing we have done for like the past 2 years now.

KOCH's current roster boasts William Hung, Sinead O'Connor, and The Kinks. How does it feel being the least important artist on a roster full of nobodies and has-beens?

It's an honor, back in the garage I never thought we could get to this point. But through hard-work and by making the brutal parts even more brutal, and the pretty parts prettier with each album, we did it. Of course, I dream of a level of success in this life like being signed to Relapse or sound pollution or profane existence or life is abuse, but I'm sure we will get on all of those labels soon.

Have you ever met another KOCH artist?

Yeah, we were at this really swanky KOCH party in NYC and we met Jim Jones, C-murder, some of Bone Thugs, and a couple men from Boyz 2 Men, and also the singer of Look What I Did!. The cool thing about KOCH is, since they own Death Row, when they throw a party, they throw a fuckin party. We having a saying in the band about KOCH parties, it goes "Tonight's Party, Tomorrow's Obituary!" We always say it to each other right before we go in the party. KOCH is rich as fuck too... Whom have you met? Probably not even your dad.

Tell us something about Bone Thugs-n-Harmony we wouldn't otherwise know.

Flesh-n-Bone gets out of prison for threatening his neighbor with an AK-47 in 2008.

What is the most frequent dinnertime meal for you guys while touring?

Cum

If there was a group called Lambgoat The Band, would you treat them with respect?

Lambgoat should change its name to SanFrancisco.com, because of the amount of faggots there.

The best album you bought in the last 6 months?

Tegan and Sara - The Con.

Why should people buy your new album, A Natural Death?

One thing is still worth fighting for, and this is preventing the realization of the singularity. The singularity will occur when any artificial intelligence is created that is more clever than the most clever human. Obviously this intelligence will be able to think, create, learn from mistakes, and process information at speeds untouchable by us. Literally within seconds our epoch will be left in the dust, all the problems of our days will be solved and trivialized within minutes and our whole existence will be deemed frivolous at best... we will be wiped out, controlled and enslaved, or forgotten. The game will change so hard that we won't even be able to play it. This will happen within the next 15 years, unless we fucking fight to keep or organic, passionate, and emotional way of life. The laws of robotics are flawed, artificial intelligence is the greatest danger our species has ever faced. Certainly we are worthless, and deserve to be annihilated, but who gives a fuck? We are all we have. After a super-intelligent being has thought about life for like .6 nanoseconds, it will come to the shattering conclusion that everything is complete desolation, time doesn't exist, achievement is an illusion, and thought is vanity, and when faced with these facts it will just shut itself off. (After killing us).

After this band fails completely, which should be within this album cycle, I will be forming a sect to destroy the possibility singularity (and to also study physics and science and seek to understand how time can not exist), with weapons, bases, a fortified city, uniforms, ranks, and all technology that does not have consciousness. The ultimate goal will be to create a society of humans who create and live passionately, understand that everyone's life is a hilarious joke, and fight to keep it that way. Our album deals with these issues and more (through metaphor). If you are interested in the sect, please get in touch via Myspace.

Any last words?

One day we got this drummer audition video from the old drummer of With All Sincerity, Frank or Jesus or something. This fat dude wearing nothing but stained boxers, who starts his audition video filming himself watching Cheech and Chong for some reason (I think this was to show us that he thinks that movie is funny and he likes it), then waddled over to his shit drumset, attempted to play two songs along to the CD. (This was entertaining when he played the 7/8 song in 4/4 and couldn't figure out why he was always behind). He was very horrible at drums. We felt bad for the guy and let him down easy, told him we were looking for someone local so his heart wouldn't break. He was pretty upset, and told us we were his favorite band and he would do anything to get the chance to play with us. He bugged us on AIM for about a year. Anyway that guy posts here about it now like every 6 months. He is pretty psychologically damaged from it since it happened like 4 years ago. This is just here until I need it, when he posts another thread full of lies about his shit life.


40 comments

Post Comment
shredtacular_ 9/4/2007 10:13:24 AM

first post, gay f*cking band


Dick of Your Mom's Choice_ 9/4/2007 10:29:05 AM

This guy is f*cking hilarious


Michael Gluck_ 9/4/2007 11:08:26 AM

A stunning success this interview is!


truthsayer_ 9/4/2007 11:24:52 AM

Good for a chuckle or two.


a_new_religion_ 9/4/2007 12:04:30 PM

Lambgoat should change its name to SanFrancisco.com, because of the amount of gays there.


YouAreSceneAsFuck_ 9/4/2007 12:07:38 PM

Thats pretty funny.


wardinator_ 9/4/2007 12:27:18 PM

"tina, come get your motherf*cking tots, ass hole" -Erik Engstrom


ShittymusicAward_ 9/4/2007 12:39:13 PM

congratulations. HORSE the band wins the award for being the gayest band that plays the shittiest music with no actual mentally retarded humans in the group. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!


Jay_ 9/4/2007 12:43:38 PM

Minibosses > Horse the Band


anonymous 9/4/2007 12:48:13 PM

i don't get it, was he being serious?


VictorCharlie_ 9/4/2007 1:28:49 PM

"Whom have you met? Probably not even your dad." f*cking LOL.


metal_bob_ 9/4/2007 2:22:26 PM

Ha ha ha, I like how they picked up on the 'cum' and 'gay' responses...they're lurkers!


theguyfromcameo_ 9/4/2007 2:26:09 PM

this guy could post here


David_ 9/4/2007 3:40:34 PM

haha that was funny. look at all the people getting offended...


theoneironaut_ 9/4/2007 5:43:44 PM

i hate this band with all my might but f*ck that was funny


anonymous 9/4/2007 7:21:02 PM

Lambgoat should change its name to SanFrancisco.com, because of the amount of gays there.


MasterBator_ 9/4/2007 8:03:47 PM

i haev a newfound respect for this man.


ihavegas_ 9/4/2007 8:05:59 PM

look at all the people getting offended...posted by David ... there was like.. 10 people above you... how is that even remotely an astounding number ?


xvegeedgex_ 9/4/2007 10:00:44 PM

ohhh man i love this band, furiously.


throwtheballyes_ 9/4/2007 10:08:31 PM

Holy shit! This ugly f*ck does look like Nepolean Dynamite. Also, this band is a complete f*cking joke that no one will care about or remember in 10 years.


van_ 9/4/2007 10:12:31 PM

wow it is so funny that this band has released like 4 albums of the same boring bullshit... and people are so fanatic about this utter crap they have been fed 4 TIMES IN A ROW NOW... totally gets me.... but.... Look What I Did is ACTUALLY a GOOD band who is being innovative... THEIR new record is actually doing something DIFFERENT!!! WOW! IMAGINE THAT... but I can totally see why he would be bitter... sucks when you are on a label with few bands and you are the only one defacing music today...


van_ 9/4/2007 10:16:45 PM

and this dude is less attractive than don king and a troll gettin it on!


RickRock_ 9/4/2007 10:42:54 PM

Really funny interview, really annoying band.


Not_ 9/5/2007 3:07:00 AM

reading


charles_nelson_reilly_ 9/5/2007 9:21:09 AM

the guy who sells there merch is a coked up gay.. i dont want youth large t shirt, get on the bus and find a bigger one


Akuma_ 9/5/2007 11:33:00 AM

At least he understands his band is a gimmick and no one will care about them in a few years.


d4n_ 9/5/2007 11:57:51 AM

i remember this band from mp3.com where their biog was just a massive plea for any label to sign them! gays!


james_ 9/5/2007 2:30:50 PM

van is a super gay. shut the f*ck up dude


YouGotScanned_ 9/5/2007 8:07:24 PM

Well, I have a new respect for this band now. Sounds like we're sailing in a similar ship, man. Let's tour together soon.


dar dar_ 9/5/2007 8:09:55 PM

This was pretty funny but whats even more funny is that this Napoleon guy is still a flaming gay.


van_ 9/5/2007 11:02:16 PM

according to this horse the band fan above me I am the super gay. that is f*cking outstanding! he likes to watch dudes in low cut shorts jog in place and i am the super gay.


timxcore_ 9/6/2007 4:58:09 PM

"according to this horse the band fan above me I am the super gay. that is f*cking outstanding! he likes to watch dudes in low cut shorts jog in place and i am the super gay." posted by van your use of exclamation marks instantly makes you gay. anyway, funny shit here.


good god_ 9/7/2007 3:10:51 PM

This interview is epic.. gays!


xote_ 9/8/2007 4:52:50 PM

I've always hated this band but that interview was fairly entertaining.


anonymous 9/9/2007 1:21:14 AM

the people who comment interviews and the news section are f*cking gays


loser_ 9/14/2007 10:52:40 PM

funny but thats mean he said that shit about that kid who tried out on drums


milkmatters_ 9/20/2007 12:49:43 AM

erik i love you. viva la sanfransisco.com you c-ck slurping gays!


xSilencio_ 10/9/2007 7:25:56 PM

"maybe Every Time I Die wouldn't have copied every single thing we have done for like the past 2 years now..." haha.


gitter dun_ 12/11/2007 9:53:06 PM

oh sure, when someone doesnt like a band, they always blame it on the sages


shame_ 12/11/2009 6:33:37 PM

SanFrancisco.com for sure, all you gays run your mouths and swallow some more.