AlbumsNovember 29, 20118,321 views

Fightstar Grand Unification


01. To Sleep 02. Grand Unification 03. Waste A Moment 04. Sleep Well Tonight 05. Paint Your Target 06. Build An Army 07. Here Again (Last Conversation) 08. Lost Like Tears In Rain 09. Open Your Eyes 10. Mono 11. Hazy Eyes 12. Grand Unification 13. Wake Up 14. Fight For Us
2007 Trustkill Records
Our score 2

by Cory
5/18/2007

UK emo/rock act Fightstar and Trustkill Records have teamed up to bring the band's latest hit album Grand Unification to this side of the ocean, and America might not be ready for them yet. It's not that they're particularly edgy or even creative, just that American mainstream rock is still busy beating a grunge-inspired dead horse, while apparently over in England, they've moved on to beating the barely breathing horse that goes by the name "emo." In reality, it's just piss-poor radio rock that sparingly uses more aggressive rock segments to highlight the whiny choruses. As far as that goes, these guys are practically the Creed of the genre, from the soaring cheeseball choruses to the melodramatic videos. How these guys convinced Deep Elm to release their first album is absolutely beyond me. Grand Unification is the musical equivalent of a painting you might find adorning the wall at a Holiday Inn: It's pleasant enough and technically flawless, but completely and utterly devoid of any personality, soul or sincerity. It's honestly a little disheartening that these records keep getting recorded and released when better bands are breaking up every day because they can't afford to pay their rent. In all of Grand Unification's fourteen tracks, only two even stand out, the first being hit single "Paint Your Target." It's a rousing, anthemic big-budget version of Brand New's "The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows," without any of the meaningful lyrics or emotional gravitas. Just how bad are the lyrics Try this out for size: "I'm sorry enough to tell you that I'm okay and I'm never gonna see you again, AGAIN!!" The other memorable track is one of the disc's mildest; "Open Your Eyes," a lush, orchestrally augmented light rock ballad that wouldn't sound out of place at the end of an episode of Grey's Anatomy, provides the disc's catchiest melody. Pretty much every song on this record starts with clean guitar arpeggios or keyboards that slowly build into the "heavy" chorus, perfect for swaying back and forth and maybe nodding your head to. I've heard more variety in a day's worth of farts than Fightstar's entire musical repertoire. Colin Richardson, the man behind the boards of nearly every Carcass album, produced this record, and to his credit, it sounds perfect. It's one of the most precisely recorded examples of the genre I've ever heard and he even manages to kick up the drumming high enough in the mix to make certain segments sound almost genuinely aggressive. Everything else about the album is really just insufferable. Bottom Line: Because America didn't have enough shitty, over-produced emo/rock acts, Trustkill Records has presented us with the UK's blandest, Fightstar. Grand Unification is one of the most boring albums I've ever received for review purposes and I hope that I never have to hear these guys again.

27 comments

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mummifiedcircuitry_ 5/18/2007 4:33:23 PM

first post


AssCancer_ 5/18/2007 4:52:30 PM

Nice Grey's Anatomy namedrop, gaybait.


johnnygore_ 5/18/2007 4:58:15 PM

its like listening to a bag of dicks sing about how lonely each dick is without more dicks to snuggle with


smokinghell_ 5/18/2007 5:15:25 PM

wow , cory got this one right ....this band is the worest thing since south lost ....f*ck these bastards ...I hope they choke


Fagstar_ 5/18/2007 5:56:49 PM

"one of the most boring albums ever received for review purposes" = one point lesser than the original score for the new PTW....things that make you go HMMM.


petenasty_ 5/18/2007 6:28:43 PM

their named f*cking fightstar


anonymous 5/18/2007 6:44:07 PM

Awesome review.


grudgecityhxc_ 5/18/2007 6:55:04 PM

probably the best review this gay's ever written.


Charlie Simpson_ 5/18/2007 7:44:15 PM

OOOH, you don't like our music! boo f*cking hoo. Cry me a river fanboy. We have more talent in our little finger than you do in your whole body. What band do you play for tough guy? huh? probably some bull shit in flames rifoff. gays.


evil_hypnotist_ 5/18/2007 8:14:18 PM

^^^^ i really hope this guy is for real, got balls taking bout talent for a band featuring ex-member of busted. lol.


chrisd_ 5/18/2007 8:26:53 PM

i like reading reviews of shit every once in a while. i laughed, i cried. no surprise that Trustkill was a part of this garbage.


anonymous 5/18/2007 10:52:10 PM

"I've heard more variety in a day's worth of farts than Fightstar's entire musical repertoire." ahahahaha!!!


Cory_ 5/18/2007 11:01:30 PM

I am a big time gay and would gladly suck off every member of this band if given the opportunity.


Cory_ 5/19/2007 12:18:39 AM

I suck massive amounts of c-cks and i like fat boners in my jerk. i know nothing about music, i just like veiny c-cks.


mojotfb_ 5/19/2007 4:58:35 AM

I like the fart joke


anonymous 5/19/2007 8:24:20 AM

gaystar - grand sodomization


Ofgo_ 5/19/2007 12:16:07 PM

Trustkill died.. long ago


anonymous 5/19/2007 1:36:48 PM

i loled at the review.. now where the f*ck where you on the FATA review!


Corey_ 5/19/2007 1:41:01 PM

good review but cory spells his name wrong


carsonslovak_ 5/19/2007 6:07:43 PM

you guys share a little finger?


Freddie Mercury_ 5/19/2007 7:22:09 PM

I love this band with all my heart, they are both talented and pretty. Can't wait for the tour.


Godfatherofsoul_ 5/20/2007 11:33:20 AM

Great review, to the point and going straight for the f*cking jugular, bravo


holycitybradley_ 5/20/2007 9:45:38 PM

death to false emo


LetMeEatThePooFromYourAss_ 5/20/2007 10:05:27 PM

why the f*ck would this be reviewed on lambgoat?


burzum_ 5/21/2007 12:42:48 PM

I like Fightstar. It's not your run-of-the-mill hardcore. It's a good switch when you take a break from the brutal metalcore and listen to something less moshy. It's pretty decent and they have nice fashion sense. And THANK YOU Trustkill, for another good release!


N Word Tim_ 5/25/2007 2:44:36 PM

Cuz the first thing that I look for in the music I listen to is what the band's wearing. If you can't dress good, you prolly can't play. Then there's Fightstar, who def. play as gay as they dress. I want to taste their buttholes, tongue action.


Matt_ 5/27/2007 4:44:35 PM

"OOOH, you don't like our music! boo f*cking hoo. Cry me a river fanboy. We have more talent in our little finger than you do in your whole body. What band do you play for tough guy? huh? probably some bull shit in flames rifoff. gays." ive seen this same post about 25 times now. Cory nailed this one for once