AlbumsNovember 29, 20119,704 views

Roses Are Red Conversations


01. White and Gold 02. I Felt I Knew Her 03. Time Signals Progress 04. Oceans 05. I Apologize 06. 12:34 07. Silver Linings 08. 300 Motion Pictures 09. You and Me Both 10. Conversations
2004 Trustkill Records
Our score 2

by Cory
10/15/2004

According to a big sticker on the case of Roses Are Red's Trustkill records debut, "Rock is Back." Back from where, you ask Back from getting a full frontal lobotomy, apparently. Roses Are Red are yet another in a string of a thousand bands that happen to blend melodic pop punk rock a la Millencolin with occassional screams, emo choruses and rare bits of metal style drumming. If you've heard any of the last ten bands Victory Records signed, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Complete with puppy-dog eyes, tight t-shirts and their quota of shitty haircuts and tattoos, Roses Are Red are here to tell you all about a generic girl that made them sad, packaged neatly in black, white and red with poorly framed pictures of a random model. When it comes to catchy hooks and emotional cliches however, these guys seem to have done their homework. They're definitely not the best band out there at this sort of thing, but they're good enough to attract a legion of adoring pre-teen girls and their mildly ashamed fifteen year old brothers who love Unearth and Hatebreed despite having no real fucking clue about metal or hardcore. Soemtimes these records genuinely do just click with me, becoming my own personal guilty pleasures, but apparently today wasn't the right day for Roses Are Red and despite all their undeniable ability at writing sugary pop-emocore, they have failed to impress this critic. Note to bands: Inclusion of a piano does not immediately signal sincerity. Get a clue. Additionally, here are some lyrical excerpts: "Say something. Breathe it in. You've taken Everything. Since you've been away dancing in the moonlight, you won't hear I'm sorry tonight" "So honestly. The way your body tells the story of the summer nights you spent away from me." "So take the long way back home tonight. Don't say a thing. Stereo seventeen, red and green." According to the band's press release, the Alternative Press described Roses Are Red's lyrics as "intelligent." One of these two is definitely lying and I hope for the AP's sake, it's the PR people, because there isn't a good lyric in this whole record. Bottom Line: Here's the problem I'm having. It's easy to trash this stuff because it's so damn overdone, but does that fact, in itself, make the bands who do it well less good While there's a nice guy deep inside who really is a sucker for slick production and a poppy hook, the music fan in me is a fucking asshole who really can't wait for nu-metal or techno or whatever else to be trendy again so that bands like this can go co-opt a different musical genre. If you like or tolerate this stuff, this record isn't half bad. If this doesn't do anything for you, just try to ignore it and eventually it will go away. I promise.

21 comments

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Daniel_ 10/15/2004 11:01:26 AM

Now I have the first comment!!!! Horrible band....


SouthFlorida_ 10/15/2004 11:09:18 AM

I love these reviews and this are band is a bunch of fools of trend.


RobertRedford_ 10/15/2004 11:31:03 AM

This should be a lyric! Nice Review..... "Rock is Back." Back from where, you ask? Back from getting a full frontal lobotomy, apparently."


Alex_ 10/15/2004 12:13:37 PM

man by far the best review ive ever read. That was just too funny.


dibky_ 10/15/2004 12:40:33 PM

dude, WTF this band is awesome. NOT, they suck ass.


rob_tcp_ 10/15/2004 12:54:53 PM

i haven't heard the album, but i'm not a fan of the shit i've heard...i walked away from their set at hellfest shaking my head with disgust...the only upside to this band is that the guys themselves are pretty cool...but musically...just no


rikethink_ 10/15/2004 1:01:09 PM

this is one of my favorite reviews. LOLZ!


no_cool_names_left_ 10/15/2004 1:48:46 PM

pwned


fat_sluts_cant_suck_ 10/15/2004 1:54:40 PM

*furiously shakes Corey's hand*


ChemicallyImbalancedSloth_ 10/15/2004 2:36:49 PM

you can tell these guys are shitty just from their name. Good job cory, tear those gays a new one.


xbreed_ 10/15/2004 2:38:23 PM

HEY THEY DIDNT GET A 1 haha they were lucky i guess...? what ever happend to music about real porblems. f*cking Fruit booters


buckwheat_ 10/15/2004 5:32:59 PM

Hahaha, hillarious review Cory. Buckwheat agrees wholeheartedly. To the above poster: Cory probably gave it a 0, but webmaster changed the score, as he is a massive RAR fan.


asdf_ 10/15/2004 7:49:35 PM

"They're definitely not the best band out there at this sort of thing, but they're good enough to attract a legion of adoring pre-teen girls and their mildly ashamed fifteen year old brothers who love Unearth and Hatebreed despite having no real f*cking clue about metal or hardcore" hahahahahaahahha this band got f*cking owned.


jwcp_ 10/16/2004 3:19:28 AM

"Rock is Back." Back from where, you ask? Back from getting a full frontal lobotomy, apparently. hahaha fantastic


Sean _ 10/16/2004 1:19:22 PM

dear Cory, i love you. Dear RAR, Please move out of Rochester so we can have 1 less thing to be ashamed of. You suck. Nobody Cares!!!!!!!!!


little joey_ 10/16/2004 3:00:48 PM

they are a bunch of posers and sluts. get this shit out of hardcore.


JoeRosesAreRed_ 10/17/2004 1:52:01 PM

OOOH, you don't like our music! boo f*cking hoo. Cry me a river fanboy. We have more talent in our little finger than you do in your whole body. What band do you play for tough guy? huh? probably some bull shit in flames rifoff. gays.


Cory_ 10/17/2004 7:09:30 PM

That's the same response that the guy from Code Black supposedly had. Hmm. I'm beginning to suspect a poseur in our midst.


Captain_Obvious_ 10/18/2004 1:40:22 AM

No! That's absolutely propostorous, Cory!


xfrancex_ 10/18/2004 7:48:00 AM

These guys give Rochester a bad name. There are so many good bands like Psyopus and Sulaco. Give it up!


boston blows_ 10/18/2004 10:14:32 PM

yo f*ck that, new unearth is sick....justain owns bitches.